Write in the Kisser

Occasionally (very occasionally) other people/entities are foolish enough to publish some of my work. It’s probably done out of pity, but at least it’s done, which is why you don’t hear the homeless guy complaining when you flip him a quarter.

Here are just a few (a.k.a., “all”) of the glittering literary (glitterary?) gems that have caught the eyes of innumerable outside publications since late 2006, when I first began to act on this masochistic craving for outright rejection and abject humiliation at the hands of perfect strangers.

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Raging Face

2/21/10 – Actually…

Monkeybicycle

1/4/10 – My PDA is Prone to PDA

The Big Jewel

11/4/09 – A Review of Some of the Less Heralded Apple Products Debuting During Steve Jobs’ Leave of Absence

2/11/09 – New To The Internet, My Uncle Francis Naively Responds To Spam Comments Left On His Blog, “Frank Talk”

Yankee Pot Roast

06/02/09 – Friday Doorbuster Specials at the Dollar Store

01/21/09 – My Wife—A Former Speechwriter in the Bush Administration—Reflects on the State of Our Union

04/07/08 – Excerpts from Amelia Bedelia Joins CTU

07/05/07 - Rejected Submissions to Mother Goose’s New and Improved Anthology of Children’s Nursery Rhymes

12/06/06 – One Amateur Writer’s In-Depth Analysis of a First Grader’s Creative Writing Exercise

Freelance Newspaper Columns

11/30/09 – Jump n’ Jivin’, Jump-in Divin’

6/14/09 – Tonight, Tonight, the World is Wild and Bright

6/6/09 – I Know a Boat You Can Get On

6/2/09 – I Want to Go Back to San Juan

4/4/09 – Struggling to Pass a Pop Quiznos

3/23/09 – The Straw that Broke the Writer’s Sink

3/5/09 – The Kitty that Never Sleeps

1/26/09 – It’s Not Easy Being Green – at Christmas, anyway

12/07/07 – It’s Beginning to Look a lot Like Death

10/12/07 – Trevor vs. the Real World: I’ve Never Been So Moved

04/12/07 – Trevor vs. the Real World: Easter Edition

02/08/07 – Trevor vs. the Real World: Cadillac Woes