Notice how I didn’t turn the title of this post into a cutesy pun or sly pop culture allsuion. That’s because Saudi Arabia continues to boggle my mind with its no-holds-barred submissions to my annual contest, The Craziest Effin’ Country on Earth.
Last year they easily took the inaugural crown by arresting 57 men for flirting, as well as — What was it again? Oh yeah: sentencing a woman to death for practicing witchcraft.
Having developed a taste for victory, the Saudis are off to an early title defense this year by allowing a Saudi man to divorce his wife via text message.
According to the BBC:
Although such a notification of divorce may seem astonishingly brief to some, under Islamic [Sharia] law men are allowed to divorce their wives simply be saying the word ‘talaq’ — I divorce you — three times.
Now, for those of you who think this is kind of a dick move on the part of the husband, it’s clear that you haven’t read the whole article. If you had, you’d know that our newly eligible bachelor is also a terrorist, so relatively speaking, divorcing his wife via text message is pretty far down on his list of assholery.
Jaunty jihadists aside, can you imagine if this particular aspect of Islam ever caught on in the U.S.? And I don’t just mean with Muslim fundamentalists — I mean with everyone. Shit, the average couple would go through three divorces a weekend.
“Damnit honey, I asked you not to leave the tampons out where I can see them! You know that creeps me out. Praise Allah, I just can’t take this anymore! Talaq, talaq, talaq.”
Of course, once the couple made up, they’d have to get married again — perhaps even have another wedding if the divorce was nasty enough (you know, announced via email in all caps without a single emoticon or “LOL”). That would require buying another marriage license, going on another honeymoon…
[excruciatingly long pause...for me, anyway]
Holy crap, I think I’ve just figured out a way to get us out of this recession! Sharia law for everyone!
You’re welcome America. Oh, and Saudi Arabia, bloody well done!
