Write in the Kisser

As an upper middle class white male living in the United States, I’ve never been fortunate enough to experience the so-called “privileged life” as it frequently portrayed in such recent fare as My Super Sweet Sixteen, Slumdog Millionaire, and The Great Gatsby. But while I’ve endured my fair share of hardships and indignities (and no, I still can’t believe they canceled Arrested Development), I’ve always remained optimistic that, one day, Fate and her capricious pearly whites would smile upon me and lead me to the glory land.^[1]

Well, that optimism has paid off and paid off handsomely, for just days ago I was selected to join HumorBloggers dot com, a comedy cabal (coven? cult? Cortland? — no, wait, that’s an apple) widely touted as “the #1 social community for humor bloggers and the best directory of humor blogs” on the net.^[2]

Yes, the selection process was grueling (an application form with not one, not two, not 17, but FIVE required information fields and NO pictures!). And yes, the cross-examination was relentless (“relentless” is a synonym for “non-existent,” right?). But in the end, my impossible-to-ignore comedic brilliance, coupled with my impossible-to-ignore threats of sexual harassment, ensured my place in the HumorBloggers haven. Granted, I have no idea what a “blogger” is, but hopefully they’ll accept a humble wegger like myself with open arms and opener legs.^[3]

Regardless, I encourage you to give ‘em a look-see. Let’s just say you won’t regret it!^{[4] [5]}

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[1] Which, despite outward similarities, is much different than being led to the glory hole – a lesson, I regret to say, I had to learn the hard way…uhh, as it were.
[2] Granted, this is how it touts itself, but you gotta start somewhere.
[3] Good looking women only, please.
[4] Granted, you very well could regret it, but let’s just say you won’t, okay? (Sheesh, get off my back about it already.)
[5] Does anyone else feel dirty when they use the winking emoticon? :shudder: