Write in the Kisser

Tired of anagrams involving Barack Obama and Britney Spears? Me neither! Unfortunately for you, deer breeder, now that I’ve succeeded in my devious scheme to make a mockery of search engine optimization analytics, I no longer feel the need to address such topics. Instead, enjoy this humorous list of alphabetic permutations based on the letters from ye olde titular “Write in the Kisser.” As if that weren’t enough, I’ve also supplemented each anagrammatic entry with a brief — though loin-tinglingly thoughtful — exegesis exploring the connection between said anagram and my weg-centric existence or the world at large.

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Write in the Kisser (Brilliant! I never would have thought of this one!)

Wit strikes herein (Clearly a bold-faced lie, though I suppose that’s better than an italic-faced one.)

Writer is keen shit (Obviously contributed by my well-intentioned — if somewhat foul-mouthed — parents.)

I, err, ink sweet shit (See? Even I don’t believe the hype.)

Here’s stinkier wit (Finally, an accurate assessment of this weg.)

See wittier shrink (My psychiatrist’s first suggestion about how to make this weg funnier.)

Riskiest whitener (I knew I should’ve stopped brushing with Colgate.)

Rewires his kitten (I was thinking of having the cat neutered…)

Sink retirees with (With what??? For God’s sake, sink them with what??? I hate choose your own adventure stories.)

Weiner hits strike (How to play baseball when you don’t have any arms?)

“Tits!” Shriek. “WIENER!” (The end result of a one-night stand with an unsuspected tranny.)

The risk? ‘Tis wiener. (Straightforward answer to question that really should have been asked before taking aforementioned tranny back to your place.)

“He reeks, sir.” Nitwit. (Likely response to a fancy British gentleman asking his manservant why he put the dog outside.)

Retire white skins (Hmm, I guess Obama made it onto this list after all.)

“Shriek trite swine!” (And would you look at that? Now Britney has too!)

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