December 18, 2009 by hawaiianpun
Having developed an unhealthy love affair with Garage Band after finally making the switch back to Mac last summer, it was inevitable (and perhaps unfortunate, depending on how keen your hearing is) that my heretofore scant contributions to the world of sound-centric humor would expand beyond their humble origins.
Although currently limited to a technically suspect, Easter-themed parody of the Charlie Daniels Band classic, “The Devil Went Down to Georgia,” and a slightly less technically suspect, Thanksgiving-themed rendition of Budweiser’s famous “Real Men of Genius” ads, future additions to the new Sounds Hilarious category will include such fantastically original ideas as, uhhhh… even more seasonal song parodies and “Real Men of Genius” take-offs? (Okay, so I won’t exactly be breaking new ground anytime soon, but I promise that the ground that I do break will remain broken for a long time to come. Very broken.)
In any case, all of this is simply a roundabout way of saying that you may want to invest in some earplugs before visiting in the future — although I suppose you could simply refrain from clicking on the audio links, too. Whatever. It’s your mouse.
Let’s get ready to mummmmmmmmmmmblllllllllllllle!
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December 17, 2009 by hawaiianpun
Do you ever read the fine print on those Borders coupon? I don’t know why you would — unless, like me, you have no life — but if you did, you would discover that, invariably, each one contains the line, “Cash value .01¢. Not redeemable for cash.”
There are two problems with this statement, neither of which I can get over. Firstly, if something has a cash value of 1/100th of a cent, why would you need the disclaimer, “Not redeemable for cash”? Who the hell is going to try to exchange it for a fictional centi-sliver?
Conversely (and secondly), if an item is not redeemable for cash anyway, why would you assign it a cash value in the first place — especially a non-existent one like .01¢? You might as well say it’s worth 1/317th of a rupee.
If you ask me (and by visiting this weg, you implicitly have — so thank you), this is yet another case of overpaid corporate lawyers injecting meaningless, redundant legalese into an otherwise straightforward process. (Although, come to think of it, if the lawyers are being paid in Borders coupons, they’re probably earning exactly what they deserve. Hey, collect a couple dozen million of those things and you’re golden! Good luck finding somewhere to cash them in though…)
Tags: book, books
Posted in Word to Your Mother | Leave a Comment »
December 15, 2009 by hawaiianpun
Old Joke (clean): Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
New joke (dirty): Give a gal a fish and she’ll eat for a day. Teach a fish to eat her out and she’ll never leave the aquarium.
Thank you.
Another wet and wild day at the aquarium.
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December 14, 2009 by hawaiianpun
Tags: movie, movies
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December 10, 2009 by hawaiianpun
The twentieth installment of my abandoned Granadino memoir, Flawed Abroad: Useless editorializing from an ignorant, close-minded American on his semester overseas.
Martes, 8 Feb. ‘05, 16.30 (Tuesday, February 8, 2005, 4:30 pm)
Fun fact: This view from the stage would be twice as handsome if yours truly were in the audience!
We went to a flamenco ballet at El Teatro Alhambra last night. I entered the theater prepared to be epically bored, but actually left fairly entertained… for a jaded cultural cynic, I mean. Apparently, the word “ballet” doesn’t have quite the same meaning here as it does in the U.S. or Russia (thank Dios). The whole affair was a sort of futuristic light show with some interpretive dance thrown into the mix. But the best part came when the performers acted out what seemed to be an Andalusian version of “You Got Served.”
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Tags: food, Granada, Spain
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